Always being the "Nice Girl" can bring you stress and self-scrutiny….

I'm not stating to refrain from being nice, cordial, pleasant, peppy, or even the "Go To Girl"; but I am stating that you be assertive in not being a door mat in the process.  The “Nice Girl” has a stigma that comes along with her generosity and that is being looked past as being anything else other than “Yes” girl.  The girl who is called for a favor at last minute notice, “oh, she’ll take care of it girl”, a car ride, watch my kids, the one another person tells another person to call  because well, you’ll do it, and bla bla bla… the list can go on.  It’s great to help others but when you start to realize a pattern and maybe with certain people, you may want to reevaluate you.  It is simply OK to say NO and without any reasoning.

 I know a lot of really nice folks who have no hesitation in saying yes and it is a tremendous quality that makes them special; they have enormous hearts…however I’ve also seen how sometimes it can make them irritable, snappy, stressed, and ruin their day. This behavior is usually a result of them saying “yes” to something when they really needed to say “no”, a result of them also having a lot on their plate while they agreed to help out another anyway.  A common mistake of wanting to be a people pleaser or everything to everyone case scenario.  All this does is create stress & aggravation completely taking away what bliss you may have had.

I know this all too well because I've also fought the battle of trying to be the “Nice Girl” and still at times fall victim to it. Where this has gotten me in the past is feeling taken advantage of at times & overwhelmed. In a sense, I actually created this by not taking notice & allowing it...in fact, by not being honest in the first place, I did create it!

The truth is that you can still be the “Nice girl” but like everything else in life, with choice or balance.  Don’t say you can do something if you have to go through a ruckus to rearrange your day/life if it truly puts you out, unless it classifies as good reasoning.  Know that when declining, it’s normal to see disappointment in the other party but do not let that be your incentive in having to please and feel responsible to have too “turn the frown upside down” so to speak.

The truth is that none of us are perfect although we never fall short of trying, which only makes us human.   This is not a bad trait to have but it most likely will set us up for disappointment from time to time and that’s alright … just try to manage your happiness along the way with it.  Never feel selfish in prioritizing your happiness when helping others, incorporate it!