I often hear about couples that they just don’t have time to spend with each other. Whether the problem is children screaming, dinner to cook, clothes to wash, work, other obligations, the list goes on and on. As parents you know it can be difficult to have alone time with your spouse. So the underlined question is, where do you find the time to keep the sparks flying in your marriage and why wouldn't you make it just as much a priority as your mothering or being noticed in your profession? Mothers may find it difficult to take care of the household, work and still have time to nurture their relationship with their spouse. Do you have a calendar filled with events but no mention of time with your hubby? If so, shame on you both and correct that now! After working all day, driving kids to their various activities and making sure the household chores are done; you may not feel like getting cozy with your husband. However, it is important that you set aside time for each other. After a long day, I can’t wait to just be with my best buddy and above all getting that extra special attention that I can only get from him and wouldn’t have it any other way, after all that’s why I married him.
Romance, fire, electricity is vital to a relationship, to not have that, you are setting your relationship up for failure in the future. Everyone has close friendships, great bonds, a best friend or two. But, no one should ever top the best friend such as the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, the best friend who you’ve chosen to also give you sheer pleasure & the intimate desire, personal affection a friend cannot give you. If you are not nurturing this, then you are guaranteed heart ache at some point. It is human nature, to have a need of desire/fireworks. This applies only to folks who truly married the love of their life and not folks who married only just to settle. If you settled then you most likely cannot comprehend the feeling of electric love....if you actually know it then you would not have settled.
I am not saying to just have sex. I am saying you need to date, have sweet intimate dinners, overnight dates, work lunches during the day, sweet phone calls with a voice that say’s “I love you”… not always a text, sweet & sexy notes left to be found by your lover, buy sweet little gifts without any reasoning, openly be affectionate to one another…actually put thought into your love affair with your spouse. I can go on & on about how to adorn your lover. I assure you, if you take care of him he will take care of you. Keep in mind that it is the little things that keep the romance alive. Instead of dropping hints to him on how you feel, just be blunt! Men find no attraction in a woman who is not assertive in her needs. In fact, "they find it sexy in you knowing what you want." Men really are simple creatures, sometimes they just need direction. However, I’ve also known of men/spouses that really just don’t get it, my opinion of that is and you have heard it said by a popular book, “he’s just not into you,” if he’s not making any effort…plain & simple. If it gets to this point you may have deeper set issues and most likely have not had true romance in a long time. Let me stress, men and woman alike NEED romance.
Doing little things for your spouse will bring back the spark and hopefully your spouse will recognize what you are doing and begin returning the favor. If you chose not to wait & see just be open & discuss what you are going to do and tell him to hop on board alongside you.
It’s called communication and if you are not able to communicate on an intimate level, I’d imagine the rest of your communications can’t be all that good. I bet there’s a lot of vague temperament, eye rolling, huffing & puffing, & being short spoken... going on. Remember that communication is the key to any successful marriage. If you and your spouse are not communicating then you can’t expect your relationship to be satisfying. The more you ignore the need to talk with your spouse, the more frustrated you may become and this tends to break any relationship down.
Finding the time to spend with each other is important because if you and your spouse are having problems, this in turn will cause problems within the family as children pick up on the tension between you both. This is all the more reason to keep the marriage in good working condition, which does require work from both partners. One solution may be to tackle household projects together with your spouse. Working as a team will allow you to accomplish more and thus free up more quality time to spend together. A real man will do anything, yes even help around the house if he truly loves you, just to have more time with you. Some men may need a clearer picture and not all men can be mind readers, they just need you to be more verbal.
So make that dinner reservation with a sexy atmosphere (no chain restaurants people, treat yourselves), add romance, get a babysitter and enjoy the time together as a couple ALONE and you will be engaged in your blissful relationship together!
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