Always being the "Nice Girl" can bring you stress and self-scrutiny….

I'm not stating to refrain from being nice, cordial, pleasant, peppy, or even the "Go To Girl"; but I am stating that you be assertive in not being a door mat in the process.  The “Nice Girl” has a stigma that comes along with her generosity and that is being looked past as being anything else other than “Yes” girl.  The girl who is called for a favor at last minute notice, “oh, she’ll take care of it girl”, a car ride, watch my kids, the one another person tells another person to call  because well, you’ll do it, and bla bla bla… the list can go on.  It’s great to help others but when you start to realize a pattern and maybe with certain people, you may want to reevaluate you.  It is simply OK to say NO and without any reasoning.

 I know a lot of really nice folks who have no hesitation in saying yes and it is a tremendous quality that makes them special; they have enormous hearts…however I’ve also seen how sometimes it can make them irritable, snappy, stressed, and ruin their day. This behavior is usually a result of them saying “yes” to something when they really needed to say “no”, a result of them also having a lot on their plate while they agreed to help out another anyway.  A common mistake of wanting to be a people pleaser or everything to everyone case scenario.  All this does is create stress & aggravation completely taking away what bliss you may have had.

I know this all too well because I've also fought the battle of trying to be the “Nice Girl” and still at times fall victim to it. Where this has gotten me in the past is feeling taken advantage of at times & overwhelmed. In a sense, I actually created this by not taking notice & allowing it...in fact, by not being honest in the first place, I did create it!

The truth is that you can still be the “Nice girl” but like everything else in life, with choice or balance.  Don’t say you can do something if you have to go through a ruckus to rearrange your day/life if it truly puts you out, unless it classifies as good reasoning.  Know that when declining, it’s normal to see disappointment in the other party but do not let that be your incentive in having to please and feel responsible to have too “turn the frown upside down” so to speak.

The truth is that none of us are perfect although we never fall short of trying, which only makes us human.   This is not a bad trait to have but it most likely will set us up for disappointment from time to time and that’s alright … just try to manage your happiness along the way with it.  Never feel selfish in prioritizing your happiness when helping others, incorporate it!  

Excuses Extract Bliss.....

Do you have an excuse for everything that entails fun, self-expression, stepping out of your comfort zone, trying new things, obligations, engagements, actually falling through with interest & engagements?  If in fact you can identify with any of these, then you are blocking yourself from your own bliss and you need to dig out of this rut!

On far too many occasions I come across folks that will not try new things regurgitating the lamest of the lame excuses.  For example, a group of lady friends are taking a dance class and one is less incline to participate delivering the line “I don’t dance, it’s not my thing”.  Now although that may truly be the case, why miss out with what most likely will turn out to be a good time with girlfriends anyway?  And who knows you may discover something new about yourself along the way.  Now, I’m not promising you will actually learn what you so hesitantly have avoided  however, you made the first step to getting out of your excuse habit.

The more you take the extra step of conquering your own excuses, the less excuses you’ll be making in the future. I suppose my point is when you deny yourself an opportunity to grow & learn about one’s self in any way or manner, you are not learning new things and allowing growth in who you are or may be. The more you can experience things in life the more free you become to do anything and that is pure BLISS.  It adds a confidence & knowledge within that you would not have discovered otherwise with an excuse.  If you try it once and it does not work for you then you have your answer and a legit excuse to decline if asked again.  So when you are in moments of question, remember to “stop extracting your bliss with what is nothing short of an excuse”.

One's Self- Heart, Soul, & Mind

In my creating this blog I am wanting to share many different things in life under many categories & subjects in which to create your own bliss and make the most of it.  Now, I am no professional of any sort, nor am I saying that my suggestions or opinions are right but these are tools that seem to work for me in my bliss and who knows, maybe they will be helpful even if it's in the slightest to some one else.

Now, where to start?  I suppose "self" would be a good one.  One's self being & worth is the most important way of looking at things. If you are not happy with you, then how do you suppose others will react to you.  There is no worse feeling than being mist a conversation with someone and discovering another being who has no self worth. It is something that can not be hidden...body language is a tell tell thing. 

Way's of looking at your self worth begin with a healthy heart, soul, & mind.  A Heart filled with love that takes notice to all that is love in your life; as well as having a healthy heart by which I mean exercising it. Simple advice, if you keep moving, so will your heart. Soul in means of a sense of faith & conscience. Which way you choose to practice what faith means to you, it is your own but do know if you have no full understanding what your "faith" means, then how else do you instill faith in others? Having a conscience is a huge part of morality and if you keep your morals in check then what a great way of keeping your soul at ease.  
The Mind is a great thing and unless you keep it fully stocked with tools, then you just may loose it. First off, you can not have a healthy mind without a healthy heart & soul, they are hand and hand.  Never fail at filling your brain with knowledge, love, passion, meaning and especially knowing who you are...this all makes for a healthy mind.

The meaning for these three words may be thought of differently and what ever that may be for you, the words are simple to use as guidance. In a moment of "wow is me" ask your self if you are good in the moment of heart, soul, & mind and from there maybe you can guide your self to the answer of correctness.